Marry Your Mate
An intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life. The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.
Marriage was first instituted by God in the order of creation, given by God as an unchangeable foundation for human life. Marriage exists so that through it humanity can serve God through children, through faithful intimacy, and properly ordered sexual relationships. This union is patterned upon the union of God with his people who are his bride, Christ with his church.
Within marriage, husbands are to exercise a role of self-sacrificial headship and wives a posture of godly submission to their husbands. This institution points us to our hope of Christ returning to claim his bride, making marriage a living picture of the gospel of grace.
One of the ways your marriage will not add to the rate of divorce in our world today is for you to marry your mate and if you are married already, make your spouse your mate!
You see the statement ‘ Am I your mate?’ does not apply in marriage. You must marry your mate. I would like to talk about the seven dimensions you and the person you want to marry or you have married must be a mate.
1. MARRY YOUR SPEAKING MATE: Marry someone you can speak together and understand each other. Communication is very crucial in marriage. Don’t marry someone that, when you are saying ‘A’ he or she will be saying ‘ Z’ Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can’t enjoy that marriage.
So many men go to bars to hang out with friends and guests till late at night because they know their wives can’t engage in any meaningful intellectual discussion. So many women too prefer to hang out with their friends, because they know their husband’s mentality when it comes to vital issues and discussions is very low. Marry your speaking Mate.
2. MARRY YOUR SCHOOL MATE: By this I mean, marry someone you can learn and improve together. Don’t marry ‘ Mr Know all’ or ‘Miss Know all’. Don’t marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or innovations. Marriage is a great institution. From day one till death do your part, you will keep learning. Marry your ‘school’ mate; someone who is ready to learn with you.
3. MARRY YOUR SPIRITUAL MATE: Marriage is not just a social union. It is also a spiritual union. Marry someone who knows the same God you know. Don’t marry someone whose belief in God is different from yours. Two can’t work together unless they are agreed ( Amos 3:3, Joshua 23: 11-15, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). The spiritual controls the physical, even in marriage. Check for spiritual compatibility in the person you want to marry.
4. MARRY YOUR SPENDING MATE: Don’t marry someone who is stingy. There are so many expenses to cater for in marriage. A stingy guy in courtship won’t suddenly become a generous husband in marriage. Don’t marry a lady that has the financial philosophy of ‘ My husband’s money is our money, but my money is my money’.
Marry someone who believes in the dignity of labour, who is ready to work, not a lazy fellow who just wants to be a consumer and not a contributor. Marry someone ready to spend and be spent for the growth and success of the family.
5. MARRY YOUR SEX MATE: Marry someone you have sexual feelings for. Sexual feeling is not a sin. It is an instinct God put in every person. Sex plays a major role in the success of any marriage. Any man you don’t have emotional feelings for, don’t marry the person. If you don’t have emotional feelings for that lady, leave her alone.
A spiritual being is also a sexual being. No matter how spiritual you both may be in your marriage, you won’t be praying for 24 hours in a day. You won’t be reading the Bible or worshipping God 24/7. You will have sex! You will romance! You will flirt with each other! You will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with sexually. It will help you to enjoy your marriage so much!
6. MARRY YOUR SOCIAL MATE: Don’t marry someone you won’t be proud to go out with. Don’t marry someone you will be feeling shy to introduce to people with boldness. Marry someone you are comfortable to hang out with. Marry someone you are socially compatible with. Don’t marry an anti-social person.
7. MUTUAL RESPECT: In a marriage where both partners view each other as mates, respect for each other’s opinions, feelings, and individuality is paramount. This respect fosters a healthy and balanced relationship.
You might be wondering if you can find all the ‘mates’ in one person. Yes! The answer is YES! You don’t need to marry 6 guys/ladies to have all these mates. One person can be all that for you. If you also work on yourself and build your life, you can be all that for the guy/lady who will marry you.
8. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT: A mate is someone who provides emotional support during both good times and bad. Marrying someone who understands you well can help navigate life’s challenges together, enhancing the bond between partners.
9. SHARED VALUES AND GOALS: A successful partnership often relies on shared values, interests, and life goals. When you marry your mate, you are likely to have similar aspirations for the future, whether they pertain to family, career, or lifestyle choices.
10. FRIENDSHIP AS THE FOUNDATION: Marrying your mate means that friendship is at the core of your romantic relationship. This friendship fosters open communication, trust, and a sense of security, which are essential for a lasting marriage.
Marrying your mate is about choosing a partner who is also your best friend. By nurturing this friendship, couples can build a strong foundation for a healthy and enduring marriage. Ultimately, the goal is to create a partnership where love, respect, and companionship thrive, leading to a fulfilling life together.
